The Ultimate Guide To Children at Weddings

Unless your guest list is adults only, it’s highly likely that there will be young children attending the big day. Our ultimate guide to children at weddings gives you a heads up on any potential problems and helps you to solve them before they’ve even happened.

So, it goes without saying that you’ll want to dress them in the most beautiful outfits you can lay your hands on! From baskets with petals scattered by flower girls to ring security boxes for page boys, complete with shades and earpieces. I have not seen a congregation that didn’t ahh in unison at this gorgeous sight!

You’ve seen the pictures on Pinterest, you’ve bought the accessories… nothing can go wrong, right?

In many cases everything will go exactly as planned. But there are occasions where things don’t work out quite like you imagined. Struck by the limelight, little ones can become overwhelmed and don’t perform as the script suggested. Flower girls can stop halfway down the aisle, and page boys can become emotional or nervous. 

Cue our ultimate guide to children at weddings!

WHY DO SOME CHILDREN GET STRESSED AT WEDDINGS?

We’re told that kids like routine. Your wedding will be far from their average day. And it’s not something that they can prepare for in the same way that you will. Picture it from their eyes… they don’t know what to expect. Everyone looks different in their beautiful outfits. They’re in a strange place and have probably felt the build-up in some way. Despite how calm you may have been.

Older children can be equally affected, and the ceremony can be emotional for all the best reasons. They have more awareness of what is happening and know what a wonderful moment this is for the family. Nonetheless, it can take them by surprise and the tears can take over.

HOW CAN YOU HELP

You might need to cut a little bit of slack. Have some things in place in case they need some support or a nudge in the right direction.

This is where close family and other special people in their lives come in… have a designated someone on hand to comfort them. Tissues and a hug should also be part of the plan. And in times of need, a sweetie in their pocket can work wonders! Just be ready to deal with any potential issues there and then, rather than the promise of something later.

No matter what their age, you can give special jobs and responsibilities as a distraction. This can help to make them feel involved and important. Anything from reading a poem to handing out confetti and fans or carrying a cute sign.

Check out Richie Roo Designs for some cute signage ideas.

PREPARE IN ADVANCE

For any children who are especially close to the couple, spend some time with them before the big day. Talk to them about how they feel and explain what will happen. It helps if they know what to expect and understand that once the ceremony is over, the fun really begins. This is also a great moment to mention the cake! Just try to let them know that there is no pressure, you’re just happy that they’ll be there.

For anyone involved in the aisle walk, I highly recommend a practice run. It’s a great idea to pair younger guests with an adult, to guide them to the right destination.

Practice runs for the wedding ceremony don’t have to be at your chosen venue. You can have a go in the garden or the local park and make it fun! Just getting everyone together and creating a nice atmosphere can help to break the ice and make them more relaxed.

DURING THE CEREMONY

Once your in position at the ceremony, I advise letting the little ones roam free as much as you can. Cueing their favourite ‘other person’ to keep an eye on them. A younger child who is expected to stand in a particular spot might be much happier playing or wandering around.

This might not be what you had in mind, but be sure it will be far less distracting than a child that wants to be on the move, while you want them to stand still. Especially while you are trying to focus on your vows.

In my experience, children that are left free to wander generally play quietly by themselves. Or gravitate towards someone they trust. It can also make for some of the most natural and beautiful photos.

No matter how they respond on the day these little guests are such an important part of your celebration. Their faces, their outfits and their presence are a huge part of the day. Just have them in mind and give them a little thought to help their experience be special too.

MY BIGGEST TIP

Be flexible! Do everything you can to make them feel comfortable, but understand that they might not be able to perform like you planned. A relaxed approach might be all it takes to make things go the way you want them to.

Regardless, these little ones are sure to steal the show in some way, but maybe on their own terms! And the more relaxed you are about their performance, the more you will be able to enjoy it yourself.

IF ALL ELSE FAILS

Bubbles and balloons are a silent way of occupying children so they’re a great prop to have on stand by. And if you’re really anticpating problems, arrange an ice cream cart! It’s a sure-fire way to calm a situation like it didn’t even happen. Check out Love Me Do for some great Ice Cream ideas! It’s highly likely that your adult guests will love this too! A word of caution: choose vanilla during the ceremony to limit any wardrobe malfunctions early in the day!

We hope you’ve enjoyed our ultimate guide to children at weddings and If you’d like any specific advice about this or any other topic, please feel free to get in touch here.

Happy Planning & Lots of Love

Sally x